I'm SCREWED!!!

My god I'm SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!! Ok, so I write this note that tells this guy that I like him. Ok, not too bad, right? WRONG! Turns out that said guy can't keep his personal notes to himself and he showed it to his ENTIRE homeroom. Well... He says that the gurl that he liked took it from him and began to read it, which is totally not cool, but anyway and then she showed it to his homeroom that she is in as well. I mean... As if that's not bad enough he wouldn't shut up about it on the bus tonight either. I mean I made a lil p.s. for him and ONLY him to read. It basically said that if he asked any guy that they would say that I'm a lil bit of a dirrty dancer. I told him that I grind hard. I mean that's just common knowledge to any guy that I've danced with that way. I mean I'm fine with the fact that Brittany was a bitch about the whole thing and told everyone about the p.s. but the think that really pisses me off is the fact that he wouldn't shut up about it on the bus. I swear I almost cried. I mean after I got off the bus. And I still don't know how he feels about me. I mean I understand if he doesn't like me that way, the way that he likes Chantelle, but I'm cool wit that, I just wish that he'd tell me. i mean i write tons of notes to people, but they usually never write back. that is unless it's during class on one piece of paper. i just really wish that i could underatand what a guy sees when he looks at me and chantelle walking down the hall by ourselves. i mean ilove chantelle to pieces, but she pisses me off sometimes by how hot guys think that she is. i mean now that she's lost her virginity it just seems that guys are even more attracted to her. i just don't get it, and i guess i never will untill i have sex, which i've told myself that i'm not gonna do untill i feel that i'm ready. and that means untill i feel that i could support a baby, and other nasty stuff that comes from having sex. i just don't get it. i mean guys are proud that they've fucked 25 girls, but a girl i think is more conservative about that type of stuff. at least i am. i'm tellin ya... if i don't get any type of action soon i'm gonna snap. wel.... i guess that's it. let me wrap it up... i'm mad at all guys because they think that i'm discusting, i'm pissed at the new kid... i still can't remember his name... and if i don't get some soon i'm switching to chicks.