ugh :/

There's something wrong with me.  I hate to say this but I keep on seeing my ex (the 2 year-er) and I keep on replaying the last time that I saw him.  I was so happy, and I can't help to wonder if I did the right thing.  I mean I AM happy now, but I can't help wondering, what if... 

I mean it's not like i'm not happy right now with my b/f that i have now.  I'm VERY happy, I've just been very confused lately.  I think once I see Peter these memories will go away.  I guess that since I've gone a whole year without Jon I'm just starting to miss it.  All of the drawings that he sent me I threw out, except for a few that i really like, but I still miss it.  Waiting for a letter from him, and once I got it, showing it to my friends and having them ooh, and aah over the mushy stuff that he said.  And then there was the writing back to him and then the cycle went on.  

Peter means a lot to me, but he has to know that there will always be a special place in my heart for Jon because he was my first love.  Hopefully Peter will make himself comfortable in my insecurities and come to have a special place in my heart for him too.  

I guess that's all i have to say.  I'm just confused about everything right now, and I really hope that you understand, Peter.