Daddy... Why???

Dear Daddy,

You've been gone for 8 years now. That's half of my life, and you've never seen the important things in my life. You abandoned me to live a life that made me think that i wasn't good enough. You left me, you selfish bastard, and i hate you for it. What did you think that you were going to solve by going and leaving me forever? You thought that you were doing what was best for me, but really you've destroyed me inside. You killed me inside. I can't think of what you did, and i can't sing in the chorus without choking up when we sing a song that reminds me of you. Kenny Loggins is our songwriter, and i like to imagine that you're singing to me when i play that CD that you used to play me when i was just a baby. I know about my stepsister, and i know how you treated mom. I hate Jeremiah because you hated him. I do things, just because i want to be closer to you. You know that you never got to see me graduate 8th grade, you never got to meet any of my boyfriends, and you're never going to be able to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. Don't worry, though, Jeremiah's not going to. Uncle Peter or Adam is going to walk me down...
I miss you. You never got to see me in my scoli brace, and you never got to meet Jonathan. You won't be there when i go to Prom, and you won't be the person that i talk to when i think about having sex. You going away from me has torn me up inside, and you're never going to see how much it's hurt me. If you could come back for just 5 minutes, i would ask you why... why did you leave me? I was just a little girl when you left. I didn't know how badly i would want to see you when i left for a dance, and you're never going to know how i felt after my first kiss. You missed out on my life, and getting to know a great person. And what about Angela?? I thought that you two would get married?? then i would have a few older siblings... what the hell happened to that idea?? She was crying soooo hard at your funeral and i was probably the only person with a dry eye in the house. You should know that, though, and i think that it's a sign that it's raining tonight. Like the song "Holes in the floor of heaven" you're watching over me, but i don't want you watching over me, i want you breathting down my neck like a REAL father i should have. I love you, but i wish that you hadn't been do damn selfish. I hope that you understand my pain.

~Your Baby