After you see this pic, you think that I'm in love or am giving my heart away again, but I'm not... I'm trying to not hurt your heart... I'm trying to mend things in my life that are broken, like my relationship with you... i don't mean us romantically, because we're completely over that, but our relationship as friends, (if we can still salvage it) I hated seeing the look on your face while Abby told you that she couldn't find it, and i would have gone over there and told her that i was going to help her look for it, but i knew that you would get mad at me, and then would totally distance yourself... not that you're already doing that.

I really care about you, and when you tell me stuff like "i've already hurt myself, you don't have to, i worry"... i get scared, and i also start to see my grave again... i know that you want me to wipe it out of my memory, but i can't... i'm scared that you'll be buried near me, or around the same time... i never wanted to hurt you, but i guess that's all i'm good for is hurting the people that i care about... and when i get scared about knowing how a bad thing is going to happen, i lie, and then i can't stop lying... it's a form of armor for me, but i know that i need help with that now... i guess that's all i have to say now.

~Baby