Letter to my editor

I know that you are reading this, because you still have this page bookmarked, probably...
Anyway, you asked me to tell you why i chose you to lie to, and i guess my answer is because you were there... i didn't want to admit that we were nice with each other, but nothing could ever be between us... i was scared to admit that i knew that we can never be together because we are just too hurt inside, and are both too worried about what the other person will do... I do care about you, but i realize now that when i told you that i only loved Matt as a friend that i would never want to lose, i was talking about both of you... I don't want to lose your friendship, but i know that you never want anything to do with me ever again... I know what i said last time, and even the time before that about me not hurting you, and believe me... if i could go back to homecoming last year, and choose to dance with you again, i would... i would because i want, no need, our friendship... i need you to be there for me, but i know that you don't trust me to be there for you...
I lied to you because i didn't want to face the truth... well i was wrong, and very sorry... i never meant to hurt you, and i will "burn long enough in hell for that"... but i won't stand mute... i do care about you, and when i'm on stage tonight i will be trying to catch your eye every moment that i can... I know that you see it in my eyes... and i know that you have told everyone that you "called me out for the whore i am" but i tell you true, i never meant to get into this with you...

I'm just as confused as you are, but i hope i answered your question...