Christmas
A time to be thankfull that a bastard child was born.  A time to think that we're special... A time to be nice to everyone... A time to act like everything in the world is fine, even if it's not... 

so... over the past few days i haven't really done anything... oh... but i did tell my mum about my suicidal thoughts, and she didn't do shit about it... just like i knew she'd do... she was concerned for about 5 minutes... and then just dismissed it like it never happened... and then in my stocking this morning... she gave me a POCKET KNIFE!!!
how stupid do you have to be to give someone who you know to be suicidal a knife... that's small enough to be snuck anywhere?... pretty damn stupid...  
anyway... after that i got a car, and all was forgiven... 

Anyway... back to the x-mas thing... why do people feel that this "is the most wonderfull time of the year"?... there are more deaths, suicides, and crashes than any other time of the year... and it's a completly commercialized holiday now... i find it very sad that people don't have to go to work, so they can spend all day sitting on their asses, surrounded by their SHIT that they got in their stockings that morning... or that "santa" gave them... i think that the world needs to have a year without gifts, and just remember that this time of year is to celebrate Christ coming to earth... It's a time of year where we sould humble ourselves, not raise ourselves up on a pedistle of gifts that we're going to eventually throw away, re-gift, or lose, then throw out... i guess all of my holiday cheer is gone... with the fact that i'm  officially depressed... and no one cares, except for Matt... 

~Baby