Friends...

I have no idea what's going on in my life...
I feel like I need to get away...
Go away, and never look back on the faces I once knew...
Or at the love I once shared...
To get away is my one reason to live...
and to run away with him...
to leave everything that we know behind...
and just ride with the moon as our wings...

I don't know where we'll go...
or what we'll do there...
but as long as I'm with him...
I will never care...
I miss him from the moment he's gone...
till the second I see him again...
I don't know what I'd do...
Without my rock, my savior, my friend.


i really just felt like writing something... and i really don't know who it's directed at... but if you think about it... it could be directed towards Matt, which is the obvious one, God... with that savior line... or towards Jeff... because as much as we might not be talking... i still feel like if i was in trouble, and it was just me and him... i still feel like he would help me... at least i hope he would... but if he wouldn't... i understand...

I really don't know what to say to him these days... because as soon as i try and be nice... he lashes out, and he may not realize it... but he hurt me Friday... with just 4 little words... he ruined my entire day... i know that he may not have seen it... or if he really cares... but i had tears in my eyes... because i still want his friendship... but i know that we can never be friends like we were before... not without a lot of "counseling" and talks about what the other really, and truly wants... whether it's best for the other or not... i guess that's why I still have his blog bookmarked... so that if he writes something... i can read it... and hopefully get what he wants me to do about it... if anything... i guess i'm just having a hard time letting go of one of the people that i really and truly do still trust with my life... let him do what he wants with it... because i'm about ready to give up and say hello to Daddy...