Suicide Pt. 2

I can't stand it
the voices going through my head
they're teling me that i'm worthless
that i'm better off to be dead.
These voices are unmistkably
telling me to die.
When I tell him these things,
all he can say is why?
I really don't want to tell him,
that i've been thinking these thoughts for years
To see that look in his eye,
it breaks my heart inside, i know
but for me to let him in,
is just as hard as letting him go.
Keep dreaming of going away,
forever leaving this place.
to get away from every cliche, 
and these reoccurring pains.

When people see that i'm not myself
i shrug it off, and say that i'm just tired
but everyone knows that i'm just killing myself
slowly, from the inside, i feel my body giving up
and my head, heart and soul are following close
i don't know what else to do, 
other than shut them out so they won't die too
Feeling the pills in the closet calling to me,
and the scarf in my room taunting my neck.
The problem with feeling like this, 
and knowing that dad did the same,
is that you're more ready to do it
and it seems more sane.
Than taking a gun and making a mess, 
for some soul to have to pick up.
It's just a mess, that you're not worth, 
so just slipping away is a lot better for everyone
 
a single tear rolls down my cheek, 
as i say goodbye to everyone i love
my future looks so bleak
i tell him it'll never happen again
but i' know that i'll be back here next week
so i'll say goodbye now
to the people i've loved
so that when i'm in heaven
they know that it's them that i'm thinking of.

~Baby