whenever i start to eat to fool my parents, i end up eating 10 bites of mashed potatoes and carrots, and a small piece of corned beef (that was what they cooked tonight for dinner)... and i always feel like i'm going to get sick after i eat, but i can't make myself get sick right now... it hurts too much, because i've got a sore throat as well right now as well. I just really wish that i knew what to do this time, because being me right now sucks. I want to just take my knife and cut all of my fat off of my damn legs, but i know that i'd just be called crazy if i did that... but it's what i want... i want all of this fat on my legs and stomach to be gone. i want to have all of the imperfections about me gone, but i do admit that i like my boobs, though. and Jeff really likes my bubbly butt, but i really don't like the fat that clings to it, and the stretch marks that come with it. Just shoot me now, because i'm seriously not happy in this body that i've been given... but i've changed it already once, what says i can't do it again??
I think i'll try again to keep myself perfect this time. no, i WILL keep/get myself perfect this time... and nothing and no one can stop me.
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