Total Update!!!

ok... so... soooo much has happened in the past few weeks. after still mot getting much sleep, i finally crashed, and everything seemed like it was going to be ok. then Jeff started getting moody... it seemed like every time he heard something that someone said about me, be it truth or fiction, he seemed to get very pissy and distance himself. then he broke up with me. he said it was because I was making things too stressful, but i knew that it was things at his house and school, and other stuff that was what was really getting to him... i told him that, and now he finally does believe me. because we're back to being friendly again. I'm still a little making sure that i am always telling him the truth, and so far, so good. I've taken a vow of celibacy, and that's been going quite well also. i've been a bit moody the past few days, but i think it's because i don't really have a healthy place to yell/shout/scream, and all around vent my anger and frustration at. My teachers (my SS teach specifically) doesn't know what the fuck she is doing, the guidance guy wants me to take forever to apply, when i'm just needing copies of papers to send to my schools of choice, and then i'm set. i don't need people psycho-analyzing me and my choices. I just need to spend a limited amount of time with those types of people to get my grade, and to get the copies of the papers that i need. how fucking hard is it to print off a couple papers!?!?

i'm just sick of people being such ass-holes. especially my mother. she's been asking me every fucking 5 minutes "are you ok?"... when i say yes, she ALWAYS says "you sure? you don't look it"... wtf am i supposed to say to that woman?? "ya, i'm pissed off at everything, and especially you for always fucking breathing down my goddamn neck!"?

i guess i just really need to hit something. or someone... perhaps someone who is trying to a)steal my boyfriend, maybe not for her own pleasure, but just to keep me away from him, or b) sleep with my boyfriend... i mean... she doesn't have enough fuck buddies!? and she's had how many abortions!?!?... ya... she's told me about at least 7... at LEAST... so ya... nothing is going right, i'm pissed at everyone, and i'm fucking bored as hell in study hall... at least i have Pi Story...