Lost In Blissful Love

OK... so... i know that i haven't written on here in like 15 days... but a LOT has happened in that time. As you all know, Jeff and I are together, and i'm finally getting my life on track. I really feel like everything that i'm doing these days is right. We've spent every weekend together, except for 1... It's been great. Seeing him makes my day so perfect. Now that his parents know that we're dating, It really has been a lot different than when I was with Matt... I don't really know what else to say... Jeff is my Night In Shining Armor, and he's taking me to new hights that i thought were impossible with Matt...

Spending all of this time with Jeff has really made my relationship with him... a lot better than any other relationship that i've had with any other guy... i mean... last night, we were hanging out in his room, he was helping me work on my song, and i was on his bed, and we weren't doing anything sexual, and his dad comes and tells him that we needed to be in a "more public" place... whatever... if they had let me, i would have slept in the pool room, right next to Jeff's room, and just snuck into his room and slept in his arms. as it is, i went into his room this morning and woke him up with a kiss... I liked doing it...

I have no idea why i'm saying all of this, but i feel like i should tell people... and i really feel like writing on here... about how damn happy i am...

I LOVE JEFF M. FOREVER!

Love Is...

People are always asking what Love means, and people want to know when you know what love really is... I know that I've found my Knight In Shining Armour now... and i know that I'm in love... this is real... because even when he's just been gone for a few minutes... i miss him like crazy... and when I'm talking to him... nothing else in the world matters... I always want to see him happy, and try and comfort him when he's sad, or just feeling down... I love how he can brighten my day with just a smile, and how nothing can go wrong when I'm in his arms... i love how i feel when i'm in his arms... and how warm, and comfortable i feel when he's looking at me... but most of all i love him... i don't know what else to say... i guess that's all i needed to say... because I'm in love, and i've never been happier than i am right now... because i know that he's always going to be there, and he knows some of the things that i've gone through... so he can help me even more than anyone could have...

wtf

what's going on with me... I just had probably the best day in a while... and then after I got home... I started thinking about the past... and then after I did that... I started thinking about how my life got how it got so messed up... I feel like I'm on the edge of a cliff... and that with 1 bad word, or 1 wrong move... I could be pushed off... or jump ... So... I'm sitting here... waiting for someone to talk to... and i'm trying to get my words out onto this post... but i just can't seem to... i can't seem to think what i'm feeling in straight words... Last night i cut... it was the first time in a long time... and after i was done... i felt better... then i felt dizzy... like i felt too good... but then... after i fell asleep... i had good dreams... dreams that i haven't had in a long time...

One Dream i was getting ready for my wedding... i had the perfect dress... the perfect wedding party... and the perfect groom... and then it came time for me to walk down the aisle with my father... he was actually there... This was in an alternate universe... and i was so happy... then... when i was walking to the altar... to see my new husband-to-be... he turned his face around... and he was smiling sooo much... seeing Jeff... it made me really happy...

when i woke up this morning i felt a little better...

Happy New Year

ok... so... i feel very lazy because this is my my first post of the new year. but everything is going great in my life right now... Sure... Sarah may be mad at me... but i've got Jeff... we aren't officially bf/gf... but we are together, and we will be forever. I just don't get why Sarah's so mad. I mean. i brought in the new year right with Jeff. a guy who really truly loves me. i'm sorry that she couldn't do the same with her guy... but whatever...
so... Matt and i broke up... and now Jeff and i are going to make our dating official on Monday at skool... and this time it's going great... we've only had 1 problem, and we worked it out.. i can't help feeling like this is going to work out... i mean it... i'm just so happy right now... i guess that it's just that everything is going so perfectly. and i love it... i thought that New Years was going to be me, alone... or worse... me and my parents... ugh... the horror... but thankfully Jeff realized through our talks that i NEEDED to get out of the house... and so he invited me... i went... and after his parents and sister and friends went to bed... we did the dishes, watched South Park The Movie, and then brought in the new year right... our way... no we didn't have sex... we just laid there in each other's arms... (for some of it) and it all felt right...

Then the week started, and after Matt wasn't mad at me an more... i decided that it might be best if Jeff and i made our relationship public... because i can't stand walking down the ahll with him, and not holding his hand, or not kissing him goodbye before i go to class... I've fallen head-over-heels, loopy, crazy in love with him... and i couldn't be happier that i'm with a guy who knows what i've been through, and can help me more than i ever knew possible just by siting on IM with me for hours at a time... it's great... i could keep on rambling on about how much i love Jeff for hours... but i don't have that long... so i guess i'll end this... I LOVE YOU BABE!!!

~Angel