So... I slept Amazingly the night after my last post... the panic attack lasted for a good hour and a half. Then I texted Jay and between his classes he came to the comp club and just held me. It felt really good for him to just hold me and make me feel safe again. I had gone to my room and laid down to try and get over everything, and it helped. I also almost fell asleep a little bit, so I was really happy that I'm feeling better. I still start to get shaky a little bit these past couple days, but then I just look at Jay, or give him a hug, and it stops.
He and I were talking last night, and I told him that I have daddy, commitment, and abandonment issues. He didn't bat an eyelash. I'm so glad that he is able to recognize that I've got some really horrible demons, and he also is over the stupid drama from like high-school, so he's JUST what I need right now. I really like him as well, which always helps. He He He. ;-)
He and I were also talking about how even though he scares me because he can read me so well, I was glad to hear that things scare him as well... like the fact that he always knows the Perfect thing to say, but it's always when he doesn't mean to say it. Idk, I just had to say that I was doing better... In fact, I'm doing Great right now... I just need to not think about my Ex any more, because he is possibly my worst trigger that I've ever found...
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